As young children were often told we can be whatever we want to be. I was once that little girl who believed it. Maybe with the exception of a couple of things some asshole told me I couldn’t do. But, little did I know, that dream would frazzle, be thought of again, fade, be thought of again, again and again.
Our lives venture into many different paths until the day the road dead ends, or becomes a dirt path. It’s inevitable, and if you’ve never experienced that, you’re one lucky fuck, so please share your secrets!
Life, for us humans, can change in a matter of moments. We lose a job, a loved one becomes terminally ill, your child is born with a disability, are all examples of things that happen every day to us all. It can all but destroy any comfort in your life you once may have had.
The continual thought process of despair can reek havoc on a healthy mind. Repeat defeats ultimately leads us to believe it will never get better. It’s like Groundhog day, and we just become idle. Eventually we run out of fuel and fade away.
We think starting over is not in our reach. We can not be reborn or create again. Then we take the take onto ourselves physically.
We slowly torture ourselves swallowing down our problems by drinking, numbing the pain with busyness, gaming, porn, mindlessly eating zombifying on social media. They are all the bi-product and symptoms of avoidance of pain. #socialzombie
Don’t forget about anger. Ah.. anger, here’s a post all about that here. Bitterness is a root cause of why we don’t allow ourselves to move forward and begin again. Ego and spite take that
We never allow ourselves to feel pain and really sit in it. We unknowingly consent to absorb it walk away, with the hopes it will go away with time.
A bad memory may soothe it a little, but it’s still there, hiding behind that Amazon shopping spree you just made, or in having so much frustration you cant think clearly. Or worse, that berating session you recently handed your child or some stranger on the street.
The only thing left to do is create yourself again or re-create some aspect of our lives. We have to renew and rethink our strategy.
Yes, we must. I’ve experienced the lowest of lows as well, and I’m here to tell you if some poor little Mississippian can do it, you can!
Not to put my myself down, but I get it. We all face shit that’s hard to deal with. Please just try a few of the following and let’s turn this shit train around shall we?
The first approach to create yourself again, is taking time for ourselves. I don’t mean a vacation. Just 5 to 10 min a day. Take a second to breathe.
In other words, meditate. No need for crazy postures or attire. You can do this while sitting or lying down. I like to do meditation when I’m walking or in a foul mood.
Especially in the heat of the moment. Stop. Listen, ask yourself why am I really reacting this way?
We have to take the time for ourselves and reflect. Be with those thoughts of pain, and understand they are REAL, and they are stemming from something.
Do this quietly or without demands and you will begin to see those negative thoughts. A thought or a memory will pop up. if you listen closely. You may even begin to identify why you are feeling a certain way.
Why am I feeling this way?
Once these hidden realizations come to life, or even if your thoughts consume you and creep into your every day life, take the time to let it go!
How? After you identify the thought or the pain, don’t mark it as bad, and suppress it.
Just be with yourself quietly and breathe. Be present, no matter how much it hurts, then allow yourself to let it go. Your past and your emotional thoughts are not what define you!
As thoughts arise, acknowledge it as a thought, allow yourself a minute or two to process it. Then just as easily as it flew in, let it float away. Refocus on the breath. Repeat.
Creating yourself again starts by just 5-6 minutes a day of meditation and gradually build yourself up every day. Also meditate anytime you’re feeling overwhelmed. Deep breaths and being present. Master this, and all else will feel trivial.
Make an effort to train your subconscious mind to understand some things were out of your control. And remember…
Sometimes we may never know the reason why things happen. Don’t try and understand someone else’s thoughts. Especially if they are deep seeded painful experiences from childhood that were opposed onto your delicate growing molding mind.
Psychologists show that the brain is still developing all the way up until the age of 24. So please allow yourself to let go of any demands and memories you had on your precious child.
As your thought patterns change you will start to heal. This is the first step to create yourself again.