I always thought, I can be whatever I want to be when I was alittle girl; with the exception of a couple of things some asshole told me I couldn’t do. Little did I know that journey would frazzle, be thought of again, fade, be thought of again, and so on.
Our lives venture many different paths until the day the road dead ends, or becomes a dirt path. It’s inevitable, and if you’ve never experienced that, you’re one lucky fuck, so please share your secrets!
Life, for us humans, can change in a matter of moments. We lose a job, a loved becomes terminally ill, your child is born with a disability, are all examples of things that happen every day to us all. It can destroy any comfort in your life you may have once had.
The only thing left to do is create again or re-create some aspect of our lives. We have to renew and rethink our strategy.
If we choose not to create again, the opposition is to destroy or die. Typically we do this slowly to ourselves. Which is a form of torture by the way.
Swallowing down our problems by drinking, numbing the pain with busyness, gaming, porn, mindlessly eating zombifying on social media, are all symptoms of avoidance of pain. #socialzombie
Don’t forget about anger. Ah.. anger, here’s a post all about that here. Bitterness is a root cause why we don’t allow ourselves to move forward and begin again. We never allow ourselves to feel pain and really sit in it. We just absorb it walk away and hope it will go away with time.
A bad memory may soothe it alittle, but it’s still there, hiding behind that Amazon shopping spree you just made, or in having so much frustration you cant think clearly. Or worse, that berating session you recently handed your child.
The first approach to create again, is taking time for ourselves. I don’t mean a vacation. Just 5 to 10 min a day. Take a second to breathe.
In other words, meditate. No need for crazy postures or attire. You can do this while sitting or lying down. I like to do meditation when I’m walking.
Especially in the moment of angst. Listen, ask yourself why am I really reacting this way? We have to take the time for ourselves and reflect. Be with those thoughts of pain, and understand they are REAL, and they are steming from something.
Do this quietly or without demands and you will begin to see those negative thoughts. You may even begin to identify why you are feeling a certain way. Not why this and that happened to you, but why am I feeling this way.
Sometimes we may never know the reason why things happen. Don’t try and understand someone else’s thoughts. Especially if they are deep seeded painful experiences from childhood. Those things were out of our control. The brain is still developing all the way up until the age of 24. Yup it’s true.
Once these hidden realizations come to life, or even if your thoughts consume you and creep into your every day life, you take the time to let it go and create again. Your thought patterns will start to heal.
After you identify the thought or the pain don’t mark it as bad, and suppress it.
Just be with yourself quietly and breathe. Be present, no matter how much it hurts, then allow yourself to let it go. Your past and your emotional thoughts are not what define you!
As the thoughts arise, acknowledge it as a thought, allow yourself a minute or two to process it. Then just as easily as it flew in, let it float away. Refocus on the breath.
Start by just 5-6 minutes a day and gradually build yourself up every day, in addition to anytime you’re feeling overwhelmed. Deep breaths and being present.
This is the first to create again. Master this, and all else will feel trivial.